well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just cut my nipple shaving
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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