i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
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Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
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We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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