You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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