Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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