You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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