my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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