dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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