I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He shit in the fireplace
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
