So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
