Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
