I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize