Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
