I just pynch a tree in the face
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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