I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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