I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
