I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
