He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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