y did u give ur computer a hand job?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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