The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She even gives head with a lisp.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
