i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
