That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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