He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
