K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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