i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
