dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
