I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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