i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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