This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
