let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I will be naked everywhere
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
