just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
