normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Dick very happy bro
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
