seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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