The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
