Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize