When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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