The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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