Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
