i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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