I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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