the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
