i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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