clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
do herpes really smell.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
