the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
