you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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