I cockslap morals
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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