why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
