On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
