Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
