8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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