Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
