Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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