the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
