after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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