Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
