I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
