Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
