I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
