i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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