I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
In other news, I just burned my penis
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
