All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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