Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
